:-x

If I was to use faces or “emoticons” on the internet like most people do, I think the one above would be the most fitting for the title of this post. Every time I click “add new post”, my mind is jumping with many things to say. A lot of the time, I hold back, afraid of the consequences of my true thoughts or feelings. I wish I could write openly about my dreams and goals and even relationships with certain people, but maybe that is something that should be saved for a private journal, or a close friend.

But, you see, I’ve been feeling down all week. It started on Sunday, to be exact. I was watching an old Jet Li movie with my boyfriend at my parent’s house and this wave of uneasiness came over me. And I carried it with me all week. On the train, while I babysat, at work, at school. I even carried it to bed. Conversations with professors and acquaintances were unnecessarily under-toned with a strange layer of sadness. I think I was questioned about my state of being at least 10 times since Sunday. Why was I carrying such an intense feeling that seriously stemmed from nothing?

But it’s gone. It came and went much like a series of torrential rains. Tonight, at 6:30 p.m., it packed its bags and left. I was sitting down, going over some plans for a house my boyfriend had sketched out that day, and suddenly I felt light. The eagerness and hopefulness in his voice discussing this carriage house, wiped all the trivial sadness that was lurking inside of me. The only real reason for verbalizing all of this is so that if some day soon this uneasiness finds its way back, I can recall how I felt at 6:30 on this certain Thursday.

Amazing Grace

God damn.

Getaway

Maybe it’s pathetic, maybe a little bit sad, but whenever we want to get away from the city for a little while we just pack our bags and cross the bridge to my parent’s house in New Jersey. It’s only 20 minutes outside the city and feels like it’s worlds away. There are no alarms to wake up to, no people shouting outside our window, no awful smells permeating throughout the air. In fact, breathing comes easily with the abundance of trees, which are now in their prime, changing from summer to fall. The only time we left the house was to go thrifting and play at the park. These quiet moments passed far too quickly, I’m not ready to be back.

I’m late to find this but this is exactly how I feel 95% of the time:

Saturdays are the new Mondays

for us, anyway. Due to some schedule changes, our Mondays with Jon and Olivia have switched to Saturdays. Last Saturday we all got breakfast, took a free tour of the Yards Brewery and then caught the Oktoberfest in Center City. This past Saturday we went canoeing, toured the old village of Batsto, New Jersey, and then got dinner! Olivia and I turned out to be the most reckless canoers ever, but that just made it more fun. Especially when we got lodged under a fallen tree. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.

Today

It’s 7:30. I’ve been to 4 classes, met with a professor, shot pictures, got into a heated discussion about race, baked a pumpkin cheesecake, cleaned, and gone shopping. Now I just need to shower and go to a pumpkin potluck.

These are some things I saw today:

This is what happens when you’re slicin’ turkey like a maniac.

Inspiration: Julius Shulman